i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
