STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
