He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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