Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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