im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
