I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
