I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
