DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
