no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
