that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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