We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
