didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
