i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
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Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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