somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
