Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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