Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I want a musical about memes.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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