ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
