gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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