Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
