Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
