I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
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