Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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