He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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