Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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