I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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