I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
