and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
the day after is always just damage control
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
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