Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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