Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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