Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
This baby is an asshole
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
