exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
