we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
