i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
