i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
