I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
