thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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