508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
