saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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