I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
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bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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