BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
We don't watch enough power rangers
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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