In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize