You work out of a Hotel?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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