Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
