guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I need a burrito and a hug.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
