You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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