Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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