I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
