some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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