Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
