i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
