No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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