O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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