not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
