As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
