That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
