Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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