we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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