need another drink. this is the easiest way
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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