Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
