I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
