Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
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then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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