you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize