you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
